Four decades ago Air Malta was a model airline. It was tiny and dynamic. The crew was new, fresh, enthusiastic and motivated. It was the company to work for on an island blighted with chronic unemployment and dismal work places.
In those golden days meals were served hot and the flatware was stainless steel. The slim young stewardesses floated through the aisle effortlessly. Drinks flowed throughout the flight and nothing was a problem.
Fast forward to 2015 and a new reality slaps you in the face.
The airline has been revamped and refurbished. Along with the carnivalesque livery comes a new level of service: rock bottom down – arguably worse than the cheapest low cost airline. But the price you pay for a seat is probably dearer per km than what you pay on Etihad business class if you happen to book your ticket late.
Passengers are served a baguette in a plastic bag. The bread is probably baked especially for the airline – no one would freely buy it at a bakery.
The filling is a surprise – whether you like it or not.
Sometimes it’s cheese and turkey filling or a concoction of tomato paste, tuna and capers.
The ingredients are listed on the bag for a reason: you wouldn’t be able to tell what’s stuffed in the bun otherwise.
You would be forgiven to think that the cheese is made from a sheet of thin plastic and the ‘smoked turkey’ has as much to do with turkey meat as Recep Erdogan has to do with the bird.
You are also served a drink. Providence be praised. A bottle of the cheapest filtered water money can buy. The taste will boost a returning migrant’s nostalgia with a strong reminder of the undrinkable tap water of the seventies.
The service is the stuff of legend. The bottle is plonked on your open seat table. A glass? Of course not – not even a plastic one. Who needs a glass when you can drink from the bottle?
Everything else you have to buy from the trolley of goodies. A packet of Twistees for €2.00, a coffee for €3 and a scotch for €4.00. In true Greek fashion every purchase comes without a receipt.
What is even more amazing is that the saving that the Airline thinks it’s making is a fake one. The saving from the meals is trivial compared to the sheer waste of labour cost. Aviation regulation does not permit a reduction of the cabin crew compliment, so the staff compliment is the same size as when the airline was young and fresh. Remarkably some of the crew were there in those heady days, but you would be forgiven not to recognise them. What kind of saving is the airline making by denying passengers who pay through their noses a miserly cup of tea or a coffee?
The code sharing agreement with Lufthansa on the German routes means that if you’re lucky enough you could end up flying on a Lufthansa plane.
You would ask yourself why at the same price the service on Lufthansa is so remarkably different even at this low service level . You get served by a stewardess that is not overweight or a steward that still has at least 30 years to go before retirement. You get a choice of sandwiches served in decent packaging. You also get a free drink and a cup of tea or coffee. All of which is served gracefully and, believe it or not a glass is included!
So pray, tell me, dear Air Malta, coming from an island that boasts the best bread in the world, why can’t you serve something decent and typical rather than a ball of rubber filled with swill, and water drawn from our exhausted boreholes. Even Farsons would probably volunteer to give you Kinnie at a cut price just to save you a lot of face.
No one would have ever dreamt of seeing the day when Air Malta’s service would sink lower than the cheapest low cost airline’s at seats twice the price.
If Air Malta has to die, let it go with dignity.
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